Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize