apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
