Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
