is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize