i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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