Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
