i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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