oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
