You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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