Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
