so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
