is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
