Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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