i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
