did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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