I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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