So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
