Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
