At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
