How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
