Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
