I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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