I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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