I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
