i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
