He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
