just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
