8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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