gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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