I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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