dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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