just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
