Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
