what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
