At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
