Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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