Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
