i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
