Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
