i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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