cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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