How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
