the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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