Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize