Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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