Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
