Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
