It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize