dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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