K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
