I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
