Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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