i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
