my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
