Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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