You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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