He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
