You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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