I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize