How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
