I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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