She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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