nut hugger
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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