Welp...herpes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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