Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If that was your dad, he is hot
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
